Every person with a disability I speak to is intelligent. Works at great organisations. Has talent. But there’s one difference: the degree to which they actually put that talent to use. And that often comes down to how they talk about themselves.
One group says they’re disabled, the other says they have a disability.
When you are your disability
One group believes their disability is their identity, it takes centre stage. They’re hyper-aware of themselves. How they look. How they move. How they talk, and how that makes them deviate from the norm. That creates a constant internal dialogue: am I saying the right things? Am I not moving strangely? What will they think of me? They’re so focused on how they come across in relation to others that they forget who they are, apart from their disability. That takes energy. Exhausting.
Disability as part of your identity
The other group believes their disability is part of their identity. They aren’t their disability, they have a disability. They see themselves as a talented employee, someone who can develop and who brings a different perspective. Not despite, but because of their disability. This seems like a negligible difference, but it changes everything. It means they relate to the people around them differently. They don’t make themselves unnecessarily small, they dare to take up space, share ideas, take initiative, and worry far less about what others think of them. The result: more freedom to be themselves and to actually put their talents to use.
It’s a skill, not a trait
The difference isn’t in intelligence or talent. It’s in how they think about themselves. And that’s a skill everyone can develop. By starting to slow down. By paying attention to the words you use about yourself, and asking yourself why you say them. Do you actually believe that? Or did you pick it up from your surroundings?
You HAVE a disability. You are NOT it.